Knowing Who You Are.
Much of what I blog about are the results of experiences in my life journey. This post could be an extension or expansion of the introduction to this blog (Introduction) the purpose, which I am hoping you realize is about you and only you, is designed to put you on the path of asking questions of yourself and getting answers from yourself.
While my journey is unique, in that it is my journey, everyone has their own personal journey. It is as unique as mine. We are all as different and unique as our DNA, there is also a generic aspect to us, regardless of custom, colour or creed.
Getting to know yourself better will certainly allow you to recognize and appreciate your uniqueness, and in turn allow you to recognize and appreciate the uniqueness of others.
Sharing some of the lessons learned about myself, which has become so important to finding out who I am, can be a catalyst for you in asking questions of yourself. The idea is to get you on the path of becoming your own LIFE COACH.
It is necessary to be mindful of everything that happens in your life, there is a purpose and reason for everything.
The Thought Process.
It is easy to convince ourselves that we know who we are. I did for many years, but there seemed to be a missing link or something missing and I wasn’t sure what.
My life was made up of good times, not so good times and bad times. It seemed that whatever the circumstance, reflected how I felt.
Gradually, I began to realize and recognize that circumstances were controlling me and dictating how I felt and in many instances, how I reacted and interacted with people. I wanted to change that, the question was, how? There were many self-help books available and I may have read most of them. It did not fill the void or answer my most basic questions.
I had a certain mindset and that was not going to change. I began to look at mindsets, what may have got me thinking more than anything, was a sign in front of a dry cleaning establishment. The sign read “Mindsets are like cement, all mixed up, and set.” No doubt it was there to catch people’s attention and perhaps for a laugh. It caught my attention.
My thinking, I live in a knowledge based society, yet I am an experienced based person, this was evident by my reaction to circumstances. It also gave a certain reality to the sign outside the dry cleaner establishment. My mind was dictating to my brain and, more than I realized, I relied almost entirely on what I had learned.
I was failing to capitalize on my experiences. Like the sign, I had a lot of knowledge from so many different sources, which was what I was relying on. It was no wonder my mind was set and was mixed up. I was defending other people’s truth
Then this epiphany, life can’t be learned, you can only live it.
Looking For Truth.
My experiences for the most part has shaped me, who I was at that time and who I am now. Those experiences were my truths. Everything I had read and learned was another person’s truth. This explained, for me, the lack of confidence I had in my mindset.
A lot of information came from other people and I had not reasoned it through, to see what, if anything, was applicable to me, and if so, in what way. Because it came from an outside source, I wasn’t sure of the accuracy. Not being sure of the accuracy of what I was learning, caused me to defend this knowledge, if questioned.
It was never necessary for me to defend my experiences, good or bad, they were accurate, it was my experience and it was a part of me. It was my truth.
Certainly, for the most part of my life I was a traditional thinker, so I went along with the societal mindset. I was a visual person, this caused me to analyze things to a certain extent.
I was never much of a critical thinker, although it is used very often to arrive at a truth. I am not sure it arrives at a truth, because it is still part of an original mindset. It may be a truth, but it is another person’s truth and has limited value, if any, for me.
I began, without realizing it, becoming a lateral thinker. This changed a lot of things and opened up a whole new world.
The dictionary definition of lateral thinking is “the solving of problems by an indirect and creative approach, typically through viewing the problem in a new and unusual light.”
Viewing problems in a new and unusual light was definitely the direction I took, although I never considered whether it was lateral thinking or some other way. I really never gave it any thought.
The approach taken towards problem solving and understanding mysteries about myself and the world I live in, took an entirely different direction. This was not planned or thought about, it just took a different direction. (I will cover that direction in detail in a later post.)
Hindsight being twenty-twenty vision, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. The reason I bring in lateral thought at this point, is to articulate in some small way, how I arrived at most of the material on the posts of this blog.
All the posts to this point and future posts will have a gem for you. You have to find them, if I give you the answer, that is not self-help, this is about “YOU.”
Directions I Followed To Get To Know Myself Better.
There was a void I wanted to fill, at one point it was very intense. I buried myself in work. I began reading many self-help books. I felt there was more to life than what I was experiencing. though I had no idea what it was.
I was involved in community, church and service clubs, looking back, it was more of an effort to fill that void. I was relatively successful in my own business. I had a loving and supportive wife, seven beautiful children that I was very proud of and lots of friends.
This all centered on someone or something, outside myself.
The question was me, and the question I was asking myself, who am I? Finding the answer has taken many years. I now realize, it need not have taken all those years.
It is an accepted fact that seniors view things somewhat different than when they were young. Experience, from the years lived, begins to change a person’s attitude towards life.
That attitude can be experienced by a young person, if there is a tendency to reason each and every experience. Experience does shape us and help us find out who we are, no exceptions.
Negative experiences have the greatest value, that is when we ask questions. It is not necessary to wallow through life with pain and loss, it doesn’t mean we will have no pain or loss, those experiences can be used as catalysts for growth.
I studied different religions and the Bible, all of it was to no avail. If anything it gave me more questions than answers. In my late thirties, I left my job to further studies, this time in Theology.
I asked questions, and quickly realized that wasn’t allowed. When no answer was given, I was told it was a paradox. This didn’t satisfy, although I was not negative in my question asking, it was deemed unacceptable and I was labeled a heretic.
A Different Road.
Communing with my spiritual self, is where the answers needed, came from. That way it was not necessary to rely on others to tell me what to do and when. Remember the lateral thinking, “viewing the problem in a new and unusual light.” that was my new and unusual light and it certainly was taking a creative approach.
This is why getting to KNOW MY SELF BETTER made me realize that it was possible to be my own enabler. For that to happen the blame game had to go out the door and it became necessary to take full responsibility for the good and bad, until the comfort and peace that had eluded me for so long, became a reality.
Communing, gave me an ability to examine everything with an open mind, some things I agreed with, somethings I didn’t. But I was not responsible for other people’s choice, my responsibility was for my choices.
Looking In The Mirror.
When we look in the mirror, we see only one person, that is the person who can be our best friend or our worst enemy. It is the person who gets us in trouble (can’t blame others) or can be our best friend ( become our own person).
Capitalize on your experiences, reason things through, don’t be afraid of thinking outside the box. Know and rely on your truths, that’s your reality.
The only LIFE COACH who can coach you, is yourself, it is your life, but you do have to know yourself better, enabling you to be a good coach.
This post may bring questions to your mind, feel free to ask any questions you may have. I will expand on this topic more in future posts.
We each have to walk our own Camino and no one can walk it for us.