Everyone is looking for love in one way or another. Love can be very elusive, it can also be very painful, it can cause anger, disappointment and frustration. Is that love? What is love? Words many times are very ineffective and can even be deceptive. In the English language we have one word for love, “love” and this is all-encompassing. The Greek language is somewhat more descriptive, after all, it is a romance language. There are three words in Greek that better explain the depth of love, however we still have to go beyond that, which I shall expand on later. The three words are Eros, Phileo and Agape. Eros is the erotica side of love and centers around sex. It is the lowest form of love and centers around the base or animalistic side of human nature and is more embraced by the male species. Phileo is a higher form of love that centers on family and the commitments and responsibilities that go with it, this is the part more embraced by the female species.
With my grandparents and to a degree my parents, roles were clearly defined. This was traditional values. Today things are changing in our society. With the traditional model, men were the providers and women the homemakers. Now with most women in the workplace and being as much or in some instances more the provider, roles are overlapping. However, the woman is still the homemaker, or expected to be, but more men are taking on some of the homemaker responsibilities. What we are seeing is a merging of two physical aspects of love the Eros and Phileo. With the merging of the two aspects of love, one would think it would create much greater harmony. Is it? If we look at the number of divorces today, the answer would be in the negative. The argument against traditionalism and why couples stayed together, it was not love but responsibility to the relationship, now that doesn’t apply, we have a greater responsibility to ourselves and to a degree we do, but not in that concept.
This brings me to the third Greek word for love, Agape. This is the highest form of love, the higher energy within a person, your Inner Self and it comes down to knowing who you are. It will take you back to the blog posting, “The friend who will not let you down.” You will most likely agree the merging of the male and female aspects of love or the Eros and Phileo is not working based on the divorces we see today. Men are losing the traditional position of power they “perceived” to have had and women are clamouring for power. In actual fact the woman has always had the power and most were smart enough to let the man think he had the power. Remember Phileo love is stronger than Eros. Agape is the leveler.
There are two types of love, conditional and unconditional, Eros and Phileo is conditional, hence the reason for so many breakdowns or disagreements between the male and female. The female who most expresses the Phileo aspect of love is more unconditional in her love because of maternal instincts, but may neglect the husband. The male who leans more towards the Eros aspect of love and feels neglected may stray, if not in deed, possibly in thought. The Agape aspect of love is unconditional. The good part of Agape, it does not neglect the Eros and Phileo aspect, it respects and empowers both. The result is a level playing field between the male and female, with each knowing and enjoying their position. The man becomes monogamous and the strongest in the relationship through love. The woman feels secure and if there are children she can devote her time to the children and never neglect the husband. The sexual relationship is good for both parties, both are fulfilled and happy. This is part of the journey you have been invited on, getting to know yourself so love can bloom the way you want it too.