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We are a part of nature. Photo by Pixabay on

There was a subheading and short write up in the post The Women In My Life on soulmates. In my last post I promised a post on “Soulmates.” To understand Soulmates, it is necessary to begin with the singular “Soulmate.”

What is most important, if you will gain anything from this post, is the necessity to believe you have a “SOUL.” The soul is our inner self, our higher power, you could say it is our spiritual side.

This is an attempt to provide a more comprehensive and detailed account of soulmate, from my perspective, based on my own experiences, and things I have read that helped me on that journey.

While my understanding of “Soulmates” may still be somewhat incomplete, it has brought me to enough of an understanding to allow me to articulate on what has been my experience.

My desire is that you might glean from this post something that will enlighten and lighten you, on your journey of life.

I know from experience this journey (the journey of life) is not all sunshine, however when we realize that the rain is there for our growth as much as the sunshine, the journey becomes much easier and enjoyable.


Soulmates is plural, the plurality will be dealt with further along, but to grasp the full and complete meaning of soulmates, it is necessary to understand soulmate. It is impossible to fully appreciate, and to a degree, understand soulmates without the understanding of “soulmate.”

The challenge for me to understand soulmates may have begun in earnest on reading the book “Eat, Pray and Love.” by Elizabeth Gilbert. In the post “The women in my life” there were three aspects of soulmates that I gleaned from that book when soulmates were mentioned.

First, was “a soulmate (singular) is probably the most important person you will ever meet.” I agree with that WHOLEHEARTEDLY, because IT IS the most important person you will ever meet.


To grasp anything from this post, it is necessary for me to go in a different direction for a moment, we will get back to the topic momentarily.

For me, it is easy to articulate on soulmate because it has been an experience or a number of experiences, and as you know it is easy to articulate on an experience (good or bad) because it is real. For you, it may be necessary to consider what is been said in this post and come to your own understanding

To evaluate what I say or what anyone says for that matter, you have to reason through what has been said. REASONING IS WORK. “However, it is work that will pay off.” In some of my other posts “lateral thinking” has been mentioned. Lateral thinking is thinking outside the box, this is where you go to the spiritual.

The brain does the reasoning, when we rely on the mind, it can’t be reasoned, because the mind is unable to receive a message from the brain, it can only send messages to the brain. It’s a “one track mind.” In essence it leaves us at the mercy of what someone else said.

The soul can send a two way message, in other words it can send a message to the brain and receive a message back. THE SOUL IS OPEN MINDED, allowing you to reason things.

There is always two sides to everything for it to have value. Think of a one-sided coin. Valueless. except to a collector. Can a judge make an informed decision, hearing only one side of an argument? Not really.

You see why it is necessary to think laterally, you can now listen to both sides and come up with an informed decision. It’s thinking outside the box.

Now, back to soulmate, “the most important person you will ever meet” and the second part of that statement, “they tear down your walls and smack you awake.” Also, very true.

It was quite a distance into my journey of life before I recognized the soulmate that was necessary for me to meet was myself.

Sometimes we never think of the obvious, it is so easy to overlook. If anyone is to build an honest, loving relationship with anyone, would it not start with yourself?

If it was with anyone but yourself, you would always be beholding to that person for your love and friendship.

To try and build a relationship with someone without having built an honest relationship with ourselves means there is very little passion, the relationship functions mechanically.

When a relationship functions mechanically, the functioning comes from what we have learned from other people, from books and what society deems natural or normal.

Again, if the second aspect “tear down your walls and smack you awake,” is applicable. Would you not eventually resent that person?

If it is yourself, that is different, now comes a very difficult decision, you are forced to take responsibility for yourself. Have you not heard, your worst enemy is yourself, or there is a dark side to people.

Our actions may seem acceptable to society, but what about our thoughts. We are also responsible for those.


The blame game is gone out the window.

It is so easy to blame someone for the negative things in our life. The down side of blame, we never get to see ourselves for who we really are.

To deal with the negative aspects of our life, we have to move to the SUPERNATURAL, oh, that sounds scary, not really, it’s lateral thinking. See the post on Natural and Supernatural .

One thing we all have in common is “CHOICE” and we are responsible for every choice we make, whatever the consequence may be.

That is the journey we all take, to become our own soulmate, or to MATE with our SOUL, or with ourselves.

There are so many roads to travel the journey of life, most of them leading to a dead end, no pun intended.

The road less traveled, may be the best road, after all you are moving away from the natural to the supernatural.

Another of the three aspects of a soulmate was “People think a soulmate is a perfect fit.” That is so true, when we realize the soulmate is ourselves and we build a genuine relationship with ourselves, what can be better? A friend for life. A Friend Who Will Never Let You Down.

The third aspect of the soulmate, “a soulmate comes into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you and then leaves.” Again, that is true, but it is imperative that we see ourselves for who we really are, that is what this statement is all about. The one that leaves is the negative part or the dark side. This leaves a person with peace, happiness, contentment and confidence. What more could one ask for?


This is certainly not the way I thought for the better part of my years. I would have been in complete agreement with the statements made in “Eat, Pray and Love.”

This is where “Lateral Thinking,” (thinking outside the box) opens up a whole new world. It allows one to reason things through. It allows one to pick out what is needed and throw out somethings that are not needed.

Lateral thinking moves us to the spiritual aspect of ourselves. The mind can’t go there, as we said before it is a one way street.


Don’t equate faith with religion, equate it with yourself. AN INNER SELF.  You may know it as your instinct, (you know the part you seldom rely on) or you may refer to it as your “gut.” It matters not what you refer to it, as. The important thing is building a relationship with that force within you.

Because the mind has to connect with something, is the reason we have a desire to equate everything with someone or something. WITH THE MIND EVERYTHING IS RELEVANT. If you can’t see it or touch it, it’s not there as far as the mind is concerned.

The SOUL is able to go to the ABSOLUTE. That is a domain the mind can never go to, that is why we have so much problem with things pertaining to the soul, we rely for the most part on our mind.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for (Love, Joy, Peace, Contentment) if you have the evidence of things hoped for (Love, Joy, Peace, Contentment), are you going to be at odds with anyone? Will you have any desire to try and prove yourself to anyone, when you enjoy those attributes?

That evidence, you can’t learn, you experience it, it’s ABSOLUTE.

We all at one time or another experience the realm of absolute or the realm of the soul.

Have you not sometime or other understood something, that you did not think you did? Have you not put something away for safe keeping and when you went to get it, you couldn’t find it, when you stopped looking, all of a sudden it came to you?

Those are small examples but nevertheless realities of another power or force at work in us.

YOU can experience this type of living on a daily basis. We are part of nature and sometimes, our HIGHER POWER allows us to see the impossible become the possible in nature.

Think of the Caterpillar becoming a Butterfly.

For that Caterpillar to morph into a Butterfly, the metamorphosis starts from within, the chrysalis eventually emerges as a butterfly.

It’s not exactly the same for us, but the most important aspect “it starts from within” so it is strictly on faith.

With the mind, it always starts from without because, it has to connect with someone or something. Our mind can’t conceive connecting with ourselves, because the mind wants us to believe we are already connected with ourselves.

The one thing the mind is unable to give us, is love, joy, peace and contentment, unless circumstances are correct. Still forcing us to believe everything is OK. It is OK if circumstances are OK.

I have found that in the journey of life circumstances are not always OK, and that I needed something more in the difficult times.

When it comes from within, we are not at the mercy of others or circumstances.


It starts from within and takes care of the negative aspects of a soulmate that are mentioned in Eat, Pray and Love. Like, “tear down your walls and smack you awake” and “reveal another layer of yourself to you and than leave.”

This journey of transformation takes time, those negative aspects have to be dealt with, they are real, but you will find comfort from within, during that journey.

It is a journey we take alone, and forces us to be honest with ourselves, there is no one to blame not even ourselves. We take responsibility for ourselves. When we blame someone or something, we are avoiding responsibility for ourselves.

Some aspects of the negativity may be dealt with in dreams, but it is a journey of enlightenment.


My next post will be plurality of soulmate, for me that was a somewhat tumultuous and at the same time exciting part of my life.

If you have any comments, questions or thoughts please feel free to leave them and I will attempt to answer them.

Stay positive and stay safe.

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This blog is journalistic in nature, it is a picture of the experiences that have shaped me over the course of my lifetime. It is a transparent look at myself and how it has been dealt with and what the outcome has been. My hope is that it may help you, because in the end it is strictly about YOU.

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